I’ve been working on a book for a few years now. Sometimes I find myself engrossed in it and other times I’ve felt like I needed to just walk away. Mostly, I feel like I’ve been living this book and stopping to chronicle the journey. I haven’t touched the book in months and honestly haven’t even thought much about it. I don’t even have time to do my laundry regularly, when the heck do I have time to write a book? Never. The answer is I – never – have – time.
But, here I am again feeling those heart tugs and soft whispers, “It’s a new chapter, Renee. Make some time.”
The pressure. It’s occasionally mounting in the best of ways. I’ve always worked best under pressure, so I’m taking this new chapter with stride and caution as I’m sure it will uproot and untangle a part of my heart I didn’t know existed.
I might just be writing a glorified journal. I have no idea, but boy has this journey changed and touched and challenged every square inch of my heart.
Despite the fact I was not an English major nor ever wanted to be one or hang out in libraries, I also know nothing has revolutionized my life, protected my heart, positioned my feet, and satisfied my heart like the flip side of obedience to those heart tugs and whispers. So I shall write. And as I have told Jesus at least a thousand times so far, “if this book is stupid it is your fault”.
He has agreed to take the blame and any unwanted fame, so all is well.
I put together a survey this weekend and shared it around with close friends and then posted it last night on a few social sites asking friends to take it. I’ve had a list of questions I wanted feedback on and figured this would be way easier than me asking people individually. I don’t have to interview everyone individually and really I want the honest truth not what people may reword if someone is in front of them.
Last night, I sat back as responses started coming in. With the mass amount of people I sent the survey to, I have no idea where each response is coming from since they are all anonymous.
Wow. Sob. Snort. Holy Crap.
I have laughed out loud.
I have cried.
I have prayed for you….whoever you are.
I have been deeply overwhelmed by the unfair and unjust parts of your story.
I have felt angry for you.
I have felt encouraged by your Jesus moments, church stories, and friendships.
I have felt so thankful for your honesty.
I have been saddened that at young ages, the enemy tried to steal, distort and misconstrue the most valuable things inside of you.
I have smiled every time your story screams through the computer, JESUS WINS! Redemption, restoration, healing…they are shining bright through the darkness for some of you. For others they are faint figures of the future you want to walk in and live out. You will get there. Keep walking.
I am feeling the weight of responsibility that comes along with someone bearing their soul and vulnerability and insecurities for me to read. I’m not taking this for granted, my people. I’m listening.
It’s only been a day, but I just wanted to stop and say THANK YOU.
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for taking a chunk of time out of your life to answer these questions.
Thank you for trusting me. It’s making me cry. It’s making me want to work harder.
You are worth it to me. You were also worth it to Him.
This isn’t about me. This isn’t about you. But, it is about someone. Maybe lots of someones. I hope it’s about lots of someones. Masses of souls who are searching for what we’ve found or what you are looking for. Masses of people who are longing for the peace we can sink into when life engulfs us in loss and tragedy. Masses who need hope to trudge through the deepest, most painful valleys imaginable. Masses who need a Savior and a friend. Masses who need direction, and most importantly, purpose.
It’s about them. They are not just people or neighbors or friends, they are eternal beings who need people willing to be authentic, love them big, and point them – on all days – in all moments – to Jesus.
Nothing is better than discovering the empowerment of those people. Tapping into the eternal as you realign your dreams to be a reflection of our Savior’s heart for people. It’s not about accomplishing a bucket list of things or even adventures. Those things will only excite your heart for a fleeting moment. It’s about experiencing the one thing you shall take with you from this Earth – people. There is no long lasting high that compares to watching someone you loved like Jesus find him, fall in love with him, find their purpose and security in Him, and pursue his call on their life. It is more empowering and satisfying than anything I’ve ever experienced.
If you haven’t filled out the survey, please do. I’m not begging, but I am asking because you are valuable and your story has worth. We are not the best judge of things that hold eternal value because the world has worked tirelessly to erode the most beautiful parts of the human soul. Most days, the world is winning. We need to fight better.
Let’s take that back together.
Let’s awaken inside of the souls around us the eternal value hidden in them.
Let’s show them big love – Jesus love.
I don’t know where this is headed. Literally, I have no plan, no timeline, no clear end result. I do have His words and your words and the words in my heart and if I know anything at all it’s that HIM + (anything – you, me, them) = A beautiful thing!
Big love to you beautiful humans who have helped so far.
Big love to you beautiful humans who shall now head over and take the survey by clicking the button below if you haven’t.